We're back

I woke up and found myself stuck between Zut and Nadine, who were jokingly fighting using me as a battle field.
I looked up and saw Wilhelm staring at us with a mixed expression.

And I thought 'this is it, here we are again!'

I should admit, I have no idea what did Wilhelm think about this moment.

Who is he?
That's a nice question.

There's no person in my life but he whom I'd expect to do next to anything tomorrow.
He's done so many things I'd be never able to understand or even try to follow his logic.

When we all just met he used to be sentimental depressive young poet dressed in dark colours, craving for decadent nineteenth century Europe.
This might even sound nice, but just let me finish.

You can't always tell something is a lie while something else is true. With Wilhelm there's almost no way to divide his imaginations, lies from something which is real. That scares me. Because you know, if a person like that occurs in your life, you're anyway able to distinguish this one thing above all that mess - the guy is fake.
because if you're true to yourself and everybody around - there would be no such things as enigma in your personality.
at least, not to that Wilhelm's extent.

He is....He is the most difficult person to talk about.
He's changed his looks several times, and...
Well, as his belief and honor he calls himself an artist, musician, writer and so that - and extremely creative person. So he creates looks.yeah, that he does.

1) Sentimental-poet-musician-depressive-thooughtful-extremely creative-guy look.
As I mentioned, this was the first look I was to picture of him, and ....well, just imagine.
He was a little over-weight that time ( he when somehow lost it all and became pretty skinny, saying he hasn't eaten for 4 weeks), and he wore this big black kinda baggy trousers, shining black shoes ( must have been polishing them regularly, who does that at the age of 17?), black or brown sweater, butterfly tie, english pattern scarf, and a sideburns with his combed back hair.
He also carried his cane-umbrella everywhere with him (he still has it now). He used to say a lot of random stuff about his ever lasting sadness and vulnerability of his soul.
This is when interesting things happened between him and his new "friend".


As a matter of fact, this guys would never be drawn together if it wasn't for the circumstances. They were the only unpaired or ungroupped people left, you now what I mean, when some new social group emerges people are quick to find themselves some new group so that they won't be alone and scared anymore. This two people (after there was 3 of them) had nothing better but to hang out together.Since, you know, Zut is way too cool and he has a HUGE group of people hanging out with and AROUND him, Nadine, Annie and me are an extremely closed and solid group, and so it goes for others, the guys fit practically nowhere.

So Wilhelm found a friend.

We never thought too much about him before this story. He was just a pretty weird guy but we never knew too much about him, he'd never show.

But through the second guy (I'm certainly going to tie him in here once somehow) we've learned a lot...about both of them, and about people in general.

People are strange.
Vows of love and friendship, huge amounts of money spent on presents, beautiful words to complement your figure, style, accomplishments are never as honest as one little bruise on your skin you got as a result of a puppy-fight for your "i didn't want to interrupt your high flying life"

And so Wilhelm was in.....friendship. Yeah, for 4 months we really thought he was in love but now I don't really know what was this all about. Both guys seem very gay to me but who knows?
But this is now too important, I respect any orientation, what I don't respect is foolishness.

You see, this "friends" thing was a complete freak show. Wilhelm threatens to hang himself if the other guy won't let Wilhelm write a course paper for him.
He's almost hysterical than the other guy refuses to miss the lesson with him.
Wilhelm would walk him home and meet at the door next morning.
He'd say and do a lot, and it seems he enjoyed the whole thing.
As well as the other guy who ended up having a lot of money, educational help and other joys- all for free!

seems like every side'd benifit from the "friendship" thing, ha? Well until the Other Guy was gone.

don't ask me now.

Wilhelm was furious.
He was so pissed off that he kept throwing his anger at others - especially at the three of us.

there was a lot, it's stupid to write this all here, but once he'd have a really bad one with Annie and I ended up saying really tough words to him, as I was really ready to punch him to protect her.
As if she ever needed protection.
she'd scare the hell out of him, so did I, and he took it all back, so did I, and after short break we saw the new him. Positive, bright, and oh-so-fake him.

2) Positive, bright and oh-so-fake guy look.

In spring he came, all of the sudden, with a huge single svarovski earring, a really short silver painted leather jacket, new jeans, shoes, other things....and it was all like "I just want to be friends with you, you're cool" kinda thing, and it's sad, and I pity him, but still this everything is so forced, so solely mind-motivated, and I'm still searching for some heart ecisions in him, and I can't find, and this all makes me really say, that I don't understand him.

and though he might do all this good things to me, I won't surrender, and nobody will.






we keep our kindergarten fight, and he keeps watching it, and I keep wondering, if I'm just like him, this distant, cold, or just like them - warm and close?